How long til my soul gets it right?

Listening to: "Galileo," Indigo Girls.

Photo from this shoot.

I have some serious life updates that I wanted to tell you all, because at this point we're friends and it feels weird to omit this info from my blog, because it's going to affect it a bit.  I just found out recently that I'm not going to graduate school, at least not this fall. The news was devastating, and I am still sad because it was my huge life goal for this year. But I'm going to reapply to more schools until I get accepted into an international affairs/policy track program. In the meantime, I've decided to take a full-time position as a sales associate at a national department store retailer to make money/learn more about the business/keep myself busy during the year. 

I really have to say, I was pretty freakin' scared -- and still am a little --- to be making all these changes. I've mostly worked internships/jobs related to journalism (news writing, editing) and politics (mostly public relations), and my last job was an internship at the state Capitol (it ended a couple months ago). To be honest, I've worked in mostly media-related positions since I was in high school, so to do anything different feels like going off track or losing part of how I define myself. It's been hard to admit that the media industry has been tough for me to navigate and break into this past year.

Suffice it to say, I've never worked retail before. I know that many of you work or have worked in retail before, and I admire that. It's just that when you've never done something before, it's kind of scary to jump into the fray. After a lot of crying and soul-searching, I think this will be a good change and possibly a great learning experience for me. It also helps that the managers who hired me are really nice and seem to be very friendly and open to helping me with my goals. They mentioned a possibility to turn this experience into a career in retail management or fashion marketing, if I decide to go that way. I'm not sure how I feel about doing that yet, but it's nice to feel like I have options, which didn't seem possible a couple weeks ago.

As for blog changes, you'll see some variance in how I do my outfits.  Per my work's dress code, I have to wear all black, so you'll be seeing some of that on the blog. For a girl who loves to wear lots of color, this will be a huge sartorial challenge, but I'm going to make the most of it. I promise I'll still do outdoor shots and dresses and fun outfits, too, and I think, if anything, my posts will become more prolific as I navigate this new job and try to stretch the limits of this dress code.

It feels better just writing this out and telling you all. I spent a lot of time writing and deleting various drafts of this post, because it felt like I was pouring too much of my soul out, but sometimes things just need to be said. It's been hard not to mention it on here for the longest time, but I had to know for sure what was going on before I said anything. This blog has been one of my only creative writing outlets in the past year, and it's been incredible to have so much support from many of you. I hope you'll continue reading as I start this strange, new adventure. :)

Love,

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